Right Now Counts

I don't know about you, but I often (before, during and after cancer) get wrapped up in what the future holds. I am a very driven person. I set goals and I work hard, heck - I push hard, to achieve them. As much as accountability is part of my core personality, so is this drive to achieve my goals. I'm a dreamer, yes, but I am a dreamer that will see her dreams realized.

Being driven is good in many ways. I tend to get a lot done. I don't give up easily. I'm great at visualizing the big picture and the details; seeing how things are interconnected in life. I pay attention to (most) details, and learn from mistakes. 

This drive is also damaging, because I can easily miss one simple fact; Right Now Counts. It is so easy to put on the blinders and miss the moments. You know, the really great moments of everyday. They happen all the time. So often, that I take them for granted sometimes, or just miss them entirely because I'm too focused on everything that needs to get done, everything that needs to change, everything that CAN be better. 

The things I do may seem excessive to most. Right now, I'm working hard to balance (and excel at) being a great wife and mother, daughter, sister, and friend,4 jobs (online teaching for 2 colleges, tutoring in a writing center, and substitute teaching grades K-12), to keep up with our active lifestyles, and make major dietary lifestyle changes to improve my health, and find time for exercise (because despite constantly being on the move, I RARELY hit 10,000 steps a day; what gives?!). If you know me well, you know that I am pretty good at balancing on this trapeze, that what doesn't break me becomes a learning experience, making me stronger or better in some way. But there are days the safety net beneath me calls me from the chaos. We all fall from time to time. I'm beginning to see that in the falling is a moment of quiet where I remember that right now counts, and I want to hang out in the safety net beneath the "get 'er done" mentality for just a bit longer. There, the moments of right now fill my cup. There is where each embrace, each kiss, each laugh, each tear, each smile, each cheer holds us tightly together and reminds us how important each moment is. Right there, in that quiet space beneath the clanging of everyday life, is where our memories lead us to this moment, and these moments, together, create the memories of our future, reminding us that right now counts.

I'm going to try hard to remember this, to pay more attention to now, to let the "busy" noise of everyday life fade out so I can remain more mindful of the moments that really matter in the end. I hope you will too.