Day 9 was Thursday. I woke up, shifted my weight in bed and was instantly struck by one simple thing: no pain. I stood up; no pain. I thanked God for yet another blessing. It is amazing how quickly the side effects come and go. I'm so grateful that they go.
I've been spending the days since (today is day 15) trying to pack in as much family time, fun and work as possible. I do still get tired really easily and I'm sluggish in the mornings. Many things still taste strange and my beverage choices are limited, but I'm getting used to these changes.
The newest change began on day 13, in the evening; I've started to lose my hair. I first noticed the loss of some body hair which prompted me to run my fingers through the hair on my head. Sure enough, about 20 or so strands came out, all entwined in my fingers. I've read many testimonials about women going to bed with hair one night and waking up bald, all their hair on their pillow the next morning. I went to bed on Day 13 worried I would wake up bald the next morning, despite the chemo nurses assurances that it was unlikely based on the amount and texture of my hair (I have/had coarse, thick hair and A LOT of it!). I still had a full head of hair on Day 14. I'll confess I've been waking up throughout the night to check. I'm not quite sure if I am disappointed or relieved when I find that my pillow isn't covered in hair. Every time I run my fingers through my hair, more and more comes out. Enough each time that I can notice. My part is more pronounced now, wider and whiter than before. Losing your hair to chemo doesn't hurt, at least not physically. My scalp has a strange feeling, a little like having a thin headache all over your scalp, but no deeper, and it occasionally tingles in spots, which prompts me to touch my hair, which is followed by more hair loss. It's nothing like I've seen on T.V. or in the movies. It's quite a bit slower and less pronounced than when dramatized by Hollywood.
My plan was to go to the wig shop today. Sheila (from Sheila's Wigs) met with me last week and we narrowed down a selection. She said to come back today and if my hair hadn't fallen out completely on its own by today, she would shave my head so she could measure and custom fit my wig. That plan has been derailed by a freak "snow" storm here in the south. Everything is shut down because of the snow and ice, and travel on the roads here isn't safe. I'm quite experienced at driving on ice and snow, and even I know it wouldn't be safe to venture out today unless required or really necessary. My wig will have to wait and in the meantime, I will have to find another way to cope with the loss of my hair.
In the meantime, I thought I'd take a vote on the wigs, I've narrowed down to 3 choices, though I might consider a 4th that Sheila wanted to show me. If you feel inclined, I'd love to hear which wig you think looks the best. Here are the choices:
Wig #1: Brown, layered. Very similar in texture and color to my own hair when it was longer.
Wig #2: Dark Blonde. This style felt more natural to me, but the color might be a stretch. I've always wanted to go blonde, though....
Wig #3: Reddish Brown with bangs. This one is very soft and natural looking. Just not sure about the bangs...
Also, I've decided that since I can't take control of my hair loss journey the way I'd planned to, I want to share what this process is like. Some of you may just be curious, and that's fine. But I'm hoping that maybe one day, someone facing this journey might find this helpful. I've worried over losing my hair so much. Maybe the reality of it is less upsetting than what our imaginations make of it. Here are some short videos of what it's been like to lose my hair over the past few days:
Day One of Hair Loss Video:
Day Two of Hair Loss Video:
Day Three of Hair Loss Video:
Quick selfie. Get used to seeing me in hats, people!
#3 is my favorite.... But I do like you as a blonde! :) Love you girl- so much! Always in my prayers love! (Kara)
ReplyDeleteI like number 3, but they all look great!
ReplyDeleteLove #1 <3
ReplyDeleteRandom (ex) student is really feeling the dark blonde for some reason. They all look nice...however, if you have to loose your hair, why not try something new/different.
ReplyDeleteMakes me think of Celia Hodes, have you ever watched the series Weeds? In it, the character, played by Elizabeth Perkins has to deal with breast cancer and losing her hair. Her response, tons of different bold wigs! ....oh and a boob job!
Thinking of you in your journey and sending prayers.
I've seen random episodes, but not the whole series. I hear it's a must watch, so maybe I should make some time to watch it! I plan on a variety too. Should be fun to experiment and what other time in my life would I have this opportunity?! Which random ex-student are you? Thanks for following my journey!
DeleteI like #2 and #3...the blonde is fun and the style does look great! The reddish brown also suits you well, and bangs are cute! When your hair does grow back in will you want to have bangs as part of the growing out process? If so, #3 would make them feel more natural I suppose...
ReplyDeleteYou will be beautiful in any of them!!
I vote #2... maybe its just because im blonde XD but still i like it the best
ReplyDeleteYou look stunning in all of the choices!!!! You also look beautiful in your photo with the hat.Your hair may be gone but your beautiful face and spirit remain unchanged!
ReplyDelete