Last Chemo Today!!

I can't sleep. I woke up to take the last antiviral (Famciclovir) for my shingles (which is not gone, but well on its way toward healing). That was around 4am. Since then, I've been on Pinterest trying to quiet the anxiety in my head with recipes and other inspiration. It's not working.

My mind is racing. The anticipation of this last dose of chemo feels a lot like the anticipation of the first. There is so much more of the unknown ahead. Will the exhaustion be worse, or can I manage? I feel so much stronger going in for this round because of the extra 12 days I had to heal. My blood counts are good, only my red blood cell count is a hair lower than the normal range. My appetite is great (probably too great if you ask my scale). The pain is mostly gone, just that annoying bruised feeling that remains in my lower back, and occasional twinges from the shingles which really don't even rate as painful in comparison to what I've experienced these past few months. Anxious anticipation leads to the playlist-on-repeat set of questions in my head...

Will the side effects be worse this time? Really worse or just a little? I have less steroids in my system to protect me from the Taxotere, which has been the bane of my chemo existence; it's been the cause of MANY of my side effects. Will the little bit of hair regrowth find its way down the drain? Will the shingles get worse, or come back again as I'm healing? Will/what will I be able to eat this time? Drink this time? Is there really enough left to watch on Netflix to keep me busy these next 10 days? Oh, the nagging questions.... 

I guess we'll know soon enough. My appointment is at 9am. 3 hours to go....