This Week's News

I have a secret to tell you. Chemo sucks. I know you already have an understanding of this if you've been reading this blog or if you've encountered me in the last 4 months. It sucks, in so many ways, but I think what I find surprising is how different it sucks with each infusion. We were naïve to think that we could plan for the ups and downs based on the effects of the first infusion.


Today is day 10 of the 5th infusion cycle. The first 5 days (Wed-Sun) were marked with the typical exhaustion, pain, metal-mouth, general ick-feeling effects, but with added nausea, aching teeth, a couple of mouth sores, the worst breath I've ever had and a stubborn yellow coating on my tongue. Over the weekend, the pain in my legs was ridiculous. I was irritable and having hot flashes, which seem to me confirmation that my ovaries have finally given up the fight against the chemo. Fun, right? I have to say, in general, I was feeling better sooner. By Monday, I was up and moving around for short periods of time. Still a lot of pain in my joints, but I wasn't as tired and I was ready to get back to normal.


And that's when things started to take a turn...


On Monday, I noticed how exhausted I was from a walk to the mailbox. Monday night, I noticed my heart was pounding while I was just laying in bed. I pulled out my nifty heart rate monitor app and my heart rate was up around 100bpm (my norm is 78-85). Strange. Tuesday, I walked to the mailbox (the extent of my exercise these days), and was really short of breath by the time I got back to my couch. Panting, I checked my heart rate again and it was 115 and had only recovered to 103 after several minutes of sitting and resting. On Wednesday, I called the doctor.


Dr. Kotz wanted to check my blood counts. It was entirely possible that my counts were low and my heart was just trying to compensate. But my counts were within a range he's used to seeing (low, but not scary low). Then, I took a walk down his long hallway with a pulse/ox monitor on my finger and a nurse attached to the other end (hehe...) My blood is oxygenating just fine, 98. But my heart rate went up to 109 from a slow walk down the hall.  When we sat down, he listed 3 concerns: Pneumotitis, Pulmonary Embolism (blood clot in my lung) or possible Heart Damage. He sent me over to the hospital for a CT Scan to check for the lung related issues, and scheduled a MUGA Scan for next Friday to check on my heart.


Other than some anxiety (funny I get "test" anxiety now, but never in school), and a Vascular Access Team tech that completely missed my port and stabbed me in the chest with the needle, wiggling it around in there before deciding she really didn't have access and trying again [insert more anxiety here], the CT Scan went well. Once again, I heard from Dr. Kotz that everything was clear before the radiology staff had even sent me home. I'm relieved that my lungs remain clear, but now I'm concerned that chemo may have already caused damage to my heart. I'm holding on to hope that the shortness of breath and heart rate issues are just another side effect, a strange and unwelcome addition to the growing list of crap chemo has brought into my world. Guess we'll find out next Friday. In the meantime, I'm going to keep focusing on feeling better, trying not to overdo it, catching up on some work, and spending some time with my family. I'm trying to not get overly hopeful, but the doc did mention we may not do the last round of chemo. More on that later, but I'll tell you, I am actually excited at the idea that I may not have to go through this again at the end of the month, that I might already be on the road to recovery from chemo for good!


In other good news, I had my very thorough screening for Ovarian Cancer (we're checking quarterly until I have the parts removed later this year) and all is clear! Somebody ring a bell!!