There are moments I look at my daughter, my heart so overwhelmed with love for her, that I swear my heart will explode. She and I call those moments "Love Bubbles."
Earlier this week, I snuggled her up and tried to find the right way to explain that I have cancer. She's almost 5, smart, precocious, sensitive, full of joy and sass. She's no stranger to doctors, hospitals or surgery, having had a pretty major renal surgery when she was 3. I tried to use her memory of that experience to explain why she's seen mommy crying so much lately.
"Mommy is sick on the inside," I said. "I'll have to go to the doctor a lot. I'll have to have a few surgeries." [insert deep breath] "Do you remember feeling scared, and crying because you were scared before your surgeries and procedures?" She did. "I'm a little scared, but I know I'll be ok." She wrapped her arms around me and asked for "lunch" which in her world means the first meal of the day....
Later, on the way to school, her eyes met mine in the rear-view mirror. "Mom, I'm gonna send my love bubbles with you when you go to the doctor." [Thank you sweet girl! I'll need them.]
"And mom, when you're scared..... Be brave like a tree."
Dear, Mrs. Kara
ReplyDeleteI read your blog page, and from what I heard you say in class and from this I can tell the things you are going through are really just life changing. At the same time I read this I think to myself about how hard this is for you and how if I were in the same situation I honestly don't know what I would do. Mrs. Kara I want you to know that you are by far one of the strongest, most optimistic people I've ever met. For you to be able and go through what you are going through and still be able to teach a class and put on a happy face for all of your students, is truly inspiring. When you told your story at our class I was at a loss for words. The only thing that was running through my head was that I just wish I could help you. Mrs. Kara you're the best teacher I've ever had, and I say this with no exaggeration. You were/are able to just establish a personal connection with your students. You're just an all around great, strong person, and I know that you will get through this. As for me and the Fall13-English-111-51A-Expository Writing class, we are all rooting for you, and we all believe in you.
Sincerely, Your Student
Jonathan Beeler