Pinktober Profiles: Beth Teel

Here's the next fantastic profile in our series, collaboratively written by my Brunswick Community College Eng 111 students as part of their service learning "Profile of a Survivor" assignment. Many of these students are still in high school, participating as part of the Early College High School program. They are taking college level courses in addition to their full course load of high school classes, and many are involved in extra-curricular activities as well. In order to raise awareness of what breast cancer is really like right here in our community, these students collaborated to write profiles of 7 incredible survivors from our community. I'll share their writing with you all week long.

Support Through the Storm

Guest Contributors: Dylan Blanton, Bailey Campbell, Mallorie Cole, Kaitlyn Dove, Dezarae Lehman, Claire Longshore, Shelby Mathis, Valerie Renna, Skyler Watson

When Beth Teel first found out she had breast cancer she didn’t know what to do, no less how to act. Her initial reaction was confusion because she did not know how or why she got breast cancer. No one in her family had ever been diagnosed with breast cancer, or any type of cancer at that.  She began to shake, and feel uneasy as this information sank in and didn’t know what step to take next.

Beth knew that one of the hardest parts would be telling her family: Her husband, sons, and daughter meant everything to her, and this news would break their hearts. When she did tell them, it was no surprise that they rallied around her with support, willing to do anything to help Beth get through this. At her first doctor’s appointment all three of her sons showed up unexpectedly to surprise her, and she broke down in tears. There was no doubt her family would be her rock through it all.

At her appointment, her oncologist told her that her right breast was filled with a nine centimeter long tumor (For a visual reference, a 5cm tumor is comparablein size to a lime. Beth’s tumor was almost twice that size!). Despite the bad news, Beth knew she was very blessed to have had one of the best and most involved support groups to help her through her breast cancer journey.

Beth's son shaving her head.

Beth wanted to get a lumpectomy to just remove the tissue around the cell but realized that a lumpectomy wasn’t going to be enough. Although she didn’t want to get this procedure done, she soon made the decision to get a mastectomy, to remove both breasts entirely. Her breasts were part of her body and getting rid of them was a hard decision to make, but it needed to be done. As she had this procedure done, the doctors found cancer in her lymph nodes, so all of the lymph nodes in her right arm had to also be removed. Chemo meant the loss of her hair, and although it seems like just hair to you and I, it meant losing more and more of herself in Beth’s eyes; First her breasts, and now her hair! She didn’t understand why this was happening to her and wondered if she was ever going to get better. Chemotherapy made her very sick. She experienced horrible bone pain. Overall, she just felt like she was dying. Her biggest challenge throughout chemo was getting through the physical pain. It was hard for her to understand how some people could make it through chemo feeling fine, yet every session made her feel terrible. It was discovered that she was highly allergic to the Leukine shots she was given. She would vomit, had trouble breathing, and even ended up with Shingles which are incredibly painful. Beth was reaching her breaking point.

Leukine is injectable medicine, classified as a colony stimulating factor, which forces the body to produce more white blood cells in an effort to help the patient undergoing chemotherapy defend against infections during their weakened state. One of the most common side effects of these medications is severe bone pain, because the medicine forces the bone marrow to hyper-produce white blood cells.

Surgery had meant the loss of her breasts. Chemo caused her to lose her hair and she suffered through incredible pain throughout her treatment. Now, Beth would face 39 radiation treatments. Three of the radiation treatments included “boosts,” which meant Beth had to have extra exposure of radiation to the places in her breasts where the original tumors were to further reduce any risks of recurrence. Radiation burned her skin, and made her susceptible to a staph infection. There were constantly new obstacles. For Beth, it felt like every step toward finishing treatment led to more pain and suffering.

Beth raising awareness with the
support of her loved ones.

The burns from the radiation treatments caused her burned skin to weep, or discharge, at random times. When she showed her doctors, they were shocked at how badly burned she was. She was put on IV fluids and antibiotics, and then hospitalized for a week due to the damage of the radiation. Somehow through all of the obstacles, Beth did not sink. Her faith in God, which had grown even stronger throughout this experience, and the support from her family helped her get through each obstacle.

 Although cancer has negatively affected Beth’s life and her family’s lives, they have found ways to embrace the situation. Spreading awareness through presentations, telling Beth’s breast cancer story and holding on to a family bond that can never be broken are some of the ways that Beth and her family try to make the best out of a bad situation.  Her children and even their friends took her to appointments, went to every surgery, and helped her up when she was down. In addition to the support from her family, Beth also had support from her doctors who treated her as more than just a patient. They did everything they possibly could to ensure that Beth would overcome this setback in her life. Although Beth would sometimes feel discouraged, she was overwhelmingly happy to have so much support. When she felt like giving up, they gave her the strength to keep fighting.

Beth, with my daughter Charlotte,
 at PIPF Pink Fashion Walk
Fundraiser 2015. They are
SO beautiful!

In life, it usually takes tough situations to really figure out the lesson you are supposed to learn. Beth Teel’s breast cancer journey has taught her a lot, more than she would have imagined. She says that “the hardest thing about breast cancer was not knowing what to do.”  Some of the most important lessons she has learned have been to rest when you need to rest and to be aware of your body and research everything. Beth was asked, what she would tell someone who was newly diagnosed with breast cancer. Her answer was “to have someone by your side who has had cancer.” She says that although everybody’s journey is different, it's encouraging to have someone to talk to that is experiencing similar issues and that can give you advice when you are unsure of what to do. Beth says to listen to other people’s good thoughts and have a good support system.  Beth is excited to have celebrated being a breast cancer survivor for the past four years. Beth says “do not have bad days, have bad moments.” Her perseverance through these constant obstacles teaches us all that with a great support system and a positive attitude, we can overcome so much. 

Pinktober Profiles: Angie Smock

Here's the next fantastic profile in our series, collaboratively written by my Brunswick Community College Eng 111 students as part of their service learning "Profile of a Survivor" assignment. Many of these students are still in high school, participating as part of the Early College High School program. They are taking college level courses in addition to their full course load of high school classes, and many are involved in extra-curricular activities as well. In order to raise awareness of what breast cancer is really like right here in our community, these students collaborated to write profiles of 7 incredible survivors from our community. I'll share their writing with you all week long.

Trusting Her Faith

Guest Contributors: Heather Hennessy, McKenna Spillane, Alexis Thorpe

Angie Smock is a beautiful, fearless woman who has dealt with a lot of stress in her lifetime. The issues started when her mother passed away in 2003. Then, a year later, Angie’s father passed away.  The loss of her parents was devastating, and it wasn’t the end of Angie’s journey with hardships. In 2010, Angie went for her baseline mammogram, which was standard protocol for 40yr old women at the time. The mammogram was negative. Early in 2011, that would all change.

In October 2015, the American Cancer Society released an updated recommendation regarding screening for breast cancer. They have changed routine screening to begin at age 45, instead of 40, and assert that everyone can forego the manual breast exams performed at their annual visits. Currently, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists recommends beginning mammograms at age 40. The American Cancer Society thinks mammograms should start at 45, and the US Preventative Services Task Force claims that age 50 is more appropriate. Given the confusing landscape of recommendations, it seems vitally important, now more than ever, to know your family medical history, and to communicate with your doctor about what’s best for you as an individual!

In February of 2011, Angie was in the shower when she noticed that the side of her breast was caving inward. This strange occurrence led Angie to her doctor, who ordered another mammogram. The mammogram revealed a tumor that “looked like a jellyfish” with tentacles. When the radiologist came out to speak with Angie, an unusual practice, she asked him if he thought it was cancer. He told her, without the benefit of pathology, he was willing to bet his life that on this being a malignant tumor. Feeling scared, Angie returned home and sat on her bed. Right then, an audible voice came to her, though she was alone in the room. Angie recounts, “God gave me a bible verse. God gave me John 11:4.”  When she looked up the verse in the Bible, she found that John 11:4 states “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the son of God may be glorified through it.”  This moment gave her a new sense of hope. She had known God was carrying her, but now she felt sure He was going to protect her, and she knew she would be alright.

Angie went to the doctor with her fearless attitude and mindset saying, “Okay, what are we going to do next?” The first opinion was to get a bilateral mastectomy. A second opinion recommended a lumpectomy because the chance of recurrence was the same whether she just removed the lump or the whole breast. Angie decided on having ACT chemo, followed by a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy which was positive and led her surgeons to remove 16 positive lymph nodes. A small lesion was also found on Angie’s brain. After surgery, Angie would continue to have chemotherapy.

In June of 2011, while she was still undergoing treatment, her doctor requested she get another mammogram. Usually, this testing is done after treatment is completed, but Angie’s doctor was concerned about how quickly her tumor had grown from nothing to a stage 3B cancer. This mammogram revealed another lesion in her breast. God was surely watching over her, protecting her with every step. Angie’s doctors then had to change the chemo cocktail she was getting to battle the change to her diagnosis. This change caused a debilitating side effect; dementia. In between treatments of this new potent chemo cocktail, Angie would mistake her niece Darian, who was one of her caregivers, for her mother who’d passed away years ago. Angie would mistake her husband for her doctor. She couldn’t be left alone, and since her husband had to work, she would go to Kenny and Elizabeth Barnes’ home (they’re the founders of Women of Hope) for “babysitting.” Her bouts with

dementia would put her in a near child-like state that was confusing and scary. Thankfully, faith, time, and medicine together would get her through treatment. As of May 2015, she has finished chemotherapy and is now cancer free. Her diagnosis has taught her to never take life for granted. She learned that every minute counts and to live life to the fullest every day. So, that's exactly what she's doing.

Pinktober Profiles: Andrea Duley

Here's the next fantastic profile in our series, collaboratively written by my Brunswick Community College Eng 111 students as part of their service learning "Profile of a Survivor" assignment. Many of these students are still in high school, participating as part of the Early College High School program. They are taking college level courses in addition to their full course load of high school classes, and many are involved in extra-curricular activities as well. In order to raise awareness of what breast cancer is really like right here in our community, these students collaborated to write profiles of 7 incredible survivors from our community. I'll share their writing with you over the next week.

A Healthy Outlet Changed Everything 

Guest Contributors: Bailey Campbell, Mallorie Cole, Skyler Watson  

In 2004 Andrea Duley moved to North Carolina from California never expecting to battle cancer soon after the transition. Her mother had passed away from ovarian cancer, her father had battled lung cancer, and her brother had cancer too.

            That April, Andrea went into the doctor's office for her annual mammogram, which is how she found out that she had a mass in her breast. When Andrea first found out she had cancer she was in shock.  She wanted to know everything she could about the cancer because it was in her nature to work to understand and research. 

Andrea at her heaviest, post-treatment

After the lump was found in her breast, a biopsy, which is when a small amount of tissue is taken from the mass and then examined under the microscope to look for abnormal cells, was done to determine if the mass was cancerous and if so, what kind of cancer it was. After that she had a lumpectomy which removed the lump and some of the tissue that surrounded it. Andrea chose not to have chemotherapy because the recurrence rate was less than 50 percent. After her surgery she endured 35 days of radiation, which targets any cancer cells left in the body.

After completing radiation she started to gain a lot of weight because of the side effects of the medicines. She knew she wasn’t herself, and she felt that there needed to be a change because she did not want to live an unhealthy lifestyle anymore. She knew then that she had to make a change for the better, so she started to watch what she consumed and ate more healthy foods. She also started working out consistently to become fit and strong.

Thoughts of cancer and recurrence can become all-consuming. Working out became Andrea’s way to escape thinking about her cancer all the time.  Exercise was her outlet and what kept her going through this journey. Working out also helped her to become stronger in her fight against cancer. She believes that becoming a healthier person contributed to her speedy recovery. She found out when she made a switch to the healthier lifestyle, it helped her get through cancer with a more positive mindset and outlook on life.

            In May 2015, nearly a decade after her first experience with cancer, she found a black and blue mark under her arm. She was concerned so she went to her doctor.  The strange mark led to testing, which resulted in her second diagnoses of breast cancer. This time around she took the BRCA test, which came back positive, and led to her decision to have double mastectomy which removed both of her breasts. Her healthy lifestyle continued into her second round of cancer. Before she had her surgery she ran a 5K, which really showed her dedication to her healthy lifestyle.

            Andrea had many obstacles that she had to face as she went through treatment and life after cancer. She remained grateful for her family, for life, and for how far medicine has come.   Even though her life was hard she made decisions that not only benefited her mindset through treatment but also her physical health. The decisions she made have impacted her life tremendously, and long-term. Her decision to become healthier not only helped her have a positive outlook but helped her during recovery because she was much stronger and healthier. Andrea learned from cancer that everyone should always have an outlet. She says, “You need to have something that can take your mind off the things when you're going through a rough time.” Andrea stated "You need to have an outlet because without one you constantly think about the cancer.” 

Pinktober Profiles: Christine Judd

I'm so excited to share the next profile in our series, collaboratively written by my Brunswick Community College Eng 111 students as part of their service learning "Profile of a Survivor" assignment. Many of these students are still in high school, participating as part of the Early College High School program. They are taking college level courses in addition to their full course load of high school classes, and many are involved in extra-curricular activities as well. In order to raise awareness of what breast cancer is really like right here in our community, these students collaborated to write profiles of 7 incredible survivors from our community. I'll share their writing with you over the next week.

Stronger Than They Gave Her Credit For

Guest Contributors: Jalen Booker, Heather Hennessy, Amber Mingeaud, Justice Parham, McKenna Spillane, Alexis Thorpe, Maggie Yang

Christine Judd’s journey with breast cancer began in 2012. She noticed she had a rash under her arm so she went to the doctor. The doctor said they were 99.9% sure that she had a cyst, and advised her to treat it with Primrose Oil. Four months later, Christine and her family were getting ready for their family trip to Disney World, but the ever-present rash under her arm became very itchy, hard, and swollen. Being in the sub made the rash burn intensely, so Christine decided it was time to go back to the doctor. Just days before her wedding anniversary and family trip to Disney, Christine was set up for a mammogram, ultrasound, and MRI. The tests revealed she had a large mass in her breast and 4 inflamed lymph nodes.  Her doctors advised against travel, wanting her to get a needle biopsy as soon as possible. When her breast surgeon wasn’t able to schedule for that week, Christine chose to travel with her family, spending much of their vacation suffering from the painful, itchy rash and the stress of the unknown.

She returned from her trip and immediately had the biopsy performed. On her 2^nd wedding anniversary, Christine was told she had stage 3B Triple Negative Inductal Carcinoma.

Stage 3B breast cancer is described as “cancer that has extended beyond the immediate region of the tumor, and may have invaded nearby lymph nodes but has not yet spread to the organs.” Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) is among the most difficult breast cancers to treat because of the way it (doesn’t) respond to chemotherapy.

When Christine was told she had cancer she felt sad and wanted to cry, but she told herself she was going to be successful and keep moving forward. At that point, Christine had to mentally prepare herself for the uphill battle she was about to embark on. She learned all that she could about this aggressive, triple negative breast cancer. Hard times were just around the corner, but she refused to let it get her down.

Christine’s treatment plan included 6 rounds of a chemotherapy referred to as “TAC” (Taxotere, Adriamycin – also known as the “red devil” in the cancer world, and Cyclophosomide). She also endured a lumpectomy to remove the mass from her breast, axillary node dissection to remove her lymph nodes, and 30 rounds of radiation.

The possible side effects from this chemo combination include: risk of infection, bruising and bleeding, anemia, bladder irritation, discolored urine, buildup of fluid, feeling sick, tiredness, sore mouth, taste changes, diarrhea, constipation, hair loss, numb or tingling hands or feet, skin changes, nail changes, changes in the way the kidneys and liver work, sore eyes, muscle and/or joint pain, and headaches, among others.

Christine experienced many of the side effects from her chemo treatment, including loss of her hair, early menopause, weight gain, and pale skin. One of the hardest moments during her treatment came when her white blood count fell dramatically, increasing her risk of infections. Her doctor recommended she stay away from children and certain foods that could contain certain types of bacteria. Staying away from children was extremely hard, because Christine had a family to take care of. Therefore she was forced to wear a mask because she did not want to be confined in a hospital room during her treatment. Her last chemo treatment caused her blood sugars to rise, which led to convulsions. It was an enormous stroke of luck that she did not end up in a diabetic coma. As a result, Christine had to endure insulin injections in her stomach, and started a walking and exercise program to lose the weight she’d gained during treatment.

About a year and a half after she finished her treatments, Christine was feeling very anxious and ill. She was fearful her cancer had returned because TNBC is very aggressive. She simply wanted to make it to the two year mark with no recurrence! When she went to her doctor, she received some unexpected news. She was pregnant! Christine was very surprised to found out that she was having another child. Her doctor’s warned her that her body was probably not strong enough to maintain the pregnancy, that she wasn’t likely to carry to full term. Christine proved them wrong! In her words, “Nobody tells me what I can’t do!” In fact, at 39 weeks, Christine had to be induced! She delivered Whitney, a healthy, beautiful, MIRACLE, baby girl.

Once again, diabetes struck because her pancreas was still too weak from the chemo and the steroids. Through Christine's illness she was determined to be successful. Her strength and the support of her family and friends helped Christine survive through the cancer, the diabetes, the miracle pregnancy, and even nursing with one breast! Christine says, “You’ve got to run with it.” And she did! She ran with everything that was thrown at her. Christine’s advice to all cancer survivors and patients around the world: “Live your life.” 

Pinktober Profiles: Toni Whitaker

I'm so excited to share the next profile in our series, collaboratively written by my Brunswick Community College Eng 111 students as part of their service learning "Profile of a Survivor" assignment. Many of these students are still in high school, participating as part of the Early College High School program. They are taking college level courses in addition to their full course load of high school classes, and many are involved in extra-curricular activities as well. In order to raise awareness of what breast cancer is really like right here in our community, these students collaborated to write profiles of 7 incredible survivors from our community. I'll share their writing with you over the next week.

Defying All Odds

Guest Contributors: Kaitlyn Dove, Claire Longshore and Valerie Renna

Did You Know?  As many people may know, breast cancer is very common in women. Over 232,000 females develop this disease every year and about 40,000 die from it. Men can develop breast cancer but this sickness is about 100 times more common among women. Health is a major factor in the occurrence of breast cancer, along with genetics and obesity. Overweight women, and women who produce (and consume) high levels of estrogen are more likely to produce higher levels of estrogen which “feeds” many types of breast cancer cells. After a woman discovers that she has breast cancer, she then visits an oncologist who specializes in the study of cancer. There are three different types of oncologists, medical, surgical and radiation. Depending on the patient's plan of treatment, he or she visits one or all of the different oncologists.  These doctors suggest popular treatments such as surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation.

Toni Whitaker was an all-around strong and healthy thirty-four year old woman. Toni had gone through some major traumatic events including a total of four miscarriages and one stillbirth over the course of five years. She was told that she would never be able to have children and although that discouraged her, physically and mentally, she always had a positive attitude and was grateful for all of the things in her life. Toni worked hard at maintaining a healthy lifestyle including playing tennis, eating right, and running on a daily basis. Toni was healthy, married for five years and all around very happy, until one day in the shower she noticed that her breasts were unusually lumpy. Although Toni hated to think about it, she knew what this could mean. She explained to her husband what she had discovered and scheduled a visit with her primary doctor, who then sent her to an oncologist.

At the oncologist it was standard procedure to take a pregnancy test even after she explained to her doctor that there was no way possible that she could be pregnant. Toni’s doctor came in and told her that he had good news as well as bad news. The doctor explained his good news was that she was finally pregnant. The bad news was that she, in fact, had breast cancer. That’s right. In that moment, Toni found out she was pregnant and had breast cancer. According to Toni, in the 1980’s treatment for pregnant women with cancer was unheard of . The doctor explained to Toni and her husband that she could not undergo chemotherapy and radiation because of her pregnancy. They knew there was no way they were terminating her pregnancy and asked the doctor to examine other possibilities to get rid of the cancer. After some discussion, Toni was told about an experimental medication available through a trial in Boston. There were risks in taking the medication, particularly for pregnant women. In order to receive this medication, her supportive husband drove to Boston from Connecticut every two days for a supply. Toni was warned; while taking this medication, there was a possibility she would not live more than six months and that if her child survived she would likely be born with serious disabilities.

Toni never once let this news bring her spirits down. She maintained a positive attitude throughout this journey despite all of the possibilities and set-backs. She carried her child full term and delivered a completely healthy baby girl! Toni’s daughter is now thirty-three years old and is living a perfectly healthy, normal life. Toni also beat the odds and those six months have turned into twenty-nine years.  

No stranger to health problems, despite a healthy lifestyle, Toni late suffered a heart attack. Three years ago, Toni also had a recurrence of her breast cancer. Now, as before, she chooses to live day-by-day and she does not dwell on what happened yesterday. Toni positively says “if you are worried about tomorrow you miss out on today.” Throughout her journey, she has done some serious positive-thinking as well as trusting her faith. She strongly believes in the power of prayer, because of the miracles God has given her. Toni believes that although her faith was strong before her diagnosis, it had gotten stronger throughout her journey. Toni’s ability to defy the odds and to do so with such a positive outlook is incredibly inspiring. To this day, Toni is very excited to still have the opportunity to accomplish all of her goals and dreams. Her next journey: zip-lining in Australia within the next year! 

Pinktober Profiles: LaVonda Howard

I'm so excited to share with you the first profile collaboratively written by my Brunswick Community College Eng 111 students as part of their service learning "Profile of a Survivor" assignment. Many of these students are still in high school, participating as part of the Early College High School program. They are taking college level courses in addition to their full course load of high school classes, and many are involved in extra-curricular activities as well. In order to raise awareness of what breast cancer is really like right here in our community, these students collaborated to write profiles of 7 incredible survivors from our community. I'll share their writing with you over the next week.

“Finding Light in her Darkest Dance”

Guest Contributors: Dylan Blanton, Dezarae Lehman, Shelby Mathis

LaVonda instructing one of her
young students.

    LaVonda Howard has a passion for dance. She lives, sleeps, and breathes dance. She moved back to her hometown, Wilmington NC, after graduating from East Carolina University and pursued her childhood dream to become a dance instructor. She fell in love, got married and then had two amazing children that mean the world to her, Brooke and Trevor. LaVonda's life was great despite a few minor setbacks she faced. She was the best mother and dance teacher she could possibly be. She loved her dance students like they were her own.

LaVonda with her mom

         So many of us, including LaVonda, picture cancer from its physical hallmarks. Certainly, when people are sick, they LOOK sick, right?! But that's not always the case. LaVonda's aunt had cancer 2 years before her own diagnosis, but she hadn't "looked sick" because she hadn't had chemo and never lost her hair as a result. Then, one year at Thanksgiving, LaVonda was startled by her aunt's appearance after a recurrence had landed her in chemotherapy, which had caused her aunt's hair to fall out. LaVonda knew she hadn't been doing her self breast exams, but she did one when she got home. That's when she found a lump in her right breast, near her armpit. LaVonda wasn't too concerned. Women get lumps and bumps in their breasts for other reasons (cysts, hormonal fluctuations, etc), but if it was still there at her next appt with her gynecologist, she'd be sure to point it out. It ended up being an appointment that would change her life forever.

         

 The gynecologist sent LaVonda for a mammorgram (her second since she'd turned 40), and an ultrasound. The mammogram showed nothing, which is common in young women because of their dense breast tissue. The ultrasound showed a suspicious area that lined up with the palpable lump LaVonda had discovered, but neither test clearly showed cancer. It wasn't until she had an MRI that they were able to confirm the mass. That's when LaVonda went to see Dr. Bebb. After her biopsy, Dr Bebb asked LaVonda what she had planned for the next day. When she told him she had dance classes to teach, he encouraged her to reconsider. She wouldn't want to be teaching little ones how to dance if the call came that she had cancer. LaVonda knew, right then, that he'd be calling with bad news the next day.

LaVonda with her kids 

Thankfully, when the time came to tell her family, they gave her more support than she could

have imagined, and none of them doubted that she was stronger than the cancer inside of her. LaVonda worried about how her children would take the news, and about how her cancer would impact their lives. As her son grabbed her hand and asked her if little boys can get cancer, LaVonda remembered the heart-wrenching tale of Little Teddy Stoddard. In the story, Teddy turns from a bright and eager student into a defiant, careless, sad boy after the loss of his mother to cancer. One teacher's relationship with Teddy changes them both after she realizes the tragedy this young boy has faced. LaVonda knew she had to channel every bit of strength she could to be there for her children, even as she endured a bilateral mastectomy (the surgical removal of both breasts), a lymphectomy (removal of her axillary lymph nodes), chemotherapy, and radiation. LaVonda wanted to still be able to be the great mother and dance teacher she had always been. She wanted to show her children, including her dance students, that she was strong and that she could beat cancer. Her kids and her passion for dance were her motivation. She couldn't wait till she could get up and dance again or take her kids to school again. The suffering, the pain, the physical and emotional depression was so big yet seemed so small when you compared it to all of the desires she had to be herself again, a great mom and teacher. Through all the pain and suffering, she was lucky enough to have the help of her friends and family, including a former dance student who stepped in to help LaVonda with her kids. 

LaVonda with Margaret and Trevor

              While she never quite returned to feeling 100% like her former self, LaVonda has regained much of her strength and has returned to teaching dance, though at a new studio.  In the darkest days of her life, LaVonda found sunshine. Through all of the dark days, weeks, and months she had to face, Brooke and Trevor kept her world shining. Her children gave her a reason to push through the difficult and draining treatments, and her drive to return to dancing and instructing dance gave her a goal to focus on. She danced her darkest dance and never gave up. She leaped over so many obstacles

until she found light in the darkest dance of her life.

Life Changes

Life is hardly a dull drumbeat these days. Where do I even begin?

I'm feeling really stuck on the reconstruction front. I'm so unhappy with the results. They are unbalanced, uneven, and cause me a lot of pain. I don't know where or who to go to next. I've never even had the proper surgical follow-up to make sure I'm healing correctly, though I'm guessing I am. I'm told the muscle spasms are just par-for-the-course, and that they will continue. I'm learning to adapt my movements to avoid the motions that generally trigger the spasms, but the whole "putting on pants" thing is unavoidable, so I suppose I'll continue to expect those spasms pretty regularly [wink, wink].

I have decided on a tattoo to cover up the scars, rather than getting the nipple tattoos. I've always had a penchant for song lyrics, and one song in particular has ALWAYS moved me. I'm thinking of getting some of the lyrics from Blackbird, specifically "Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise." I thought it would be beautiful to have birds perched on a tree branch on one side (over the scar), and the lyrics over the scar on the other side. And, though the song lyrics refer to Blackbirds, at least 2 of the birds I get will have to be Cardinals because of the ones that visited me daily while I was sick. I felt so much peace watching them flit around on my balcony while I curled up in bed day after day through treatment. I'm aiming for a very delicate, feminine-looking tattoo. The last thing I need is another harsh-looking mark on my skin. I'm also pretty sure I've found the tattoo artist who'll do the work. She is out of Raleigh and is endorsed by P.Ink!, an organization that helps match women in my situation with tattoo artists with experience tattooing over scars, particularly mastectomy scars. Now, I just need an artist willing to draw the tattoo for me. If you know of anyone, please PLEASE let me know.

Speaking of my penchant for song lyrics, there is a new song by Sara Bareilles called "She Used to Be Mine" I've been listening to on repeat. The lyrics speak to the imperfection we feel (all of us, I suspect, but many women, and particularly women who've gone through some scarring life event). Maybe I am projecting a bit, but I think many of my sisters-in-cancer will identify with the beautiful lyrics of this song. If you are so inclined, give it a listen, or buy it (Amazon and iTunes have the digital download available for the single)! It's so beautiful! Here's a link to a live version posted on YouTube: She Used To Be Mine - Sara Bareilles

I'm also taking some much needed steps to work on my strength. Treatment has taken such a toll on my body. I know you are all pretty tired of me complaining about pain, but it is the reality of my daily life. I'm getting pretty good at dealing with it, drudging through. I think I am also coming to the realization of just how weak I am now. I'm not used to feeling so tired and run-down. I've always been strong. Now, I seem to have more strength early in the day, but by bedtime, I can't open a bottle of water by myself. That was a real kick-in-the-pants to start making changes. You all know I have been working on changing my diet for some time now. I have good days and bad days when it comes down to it. I'm trying to find my sweet spot when it comes to clean eating. This coming week, I will start training regularly with a personal trainer. She has lots of experience training women who've been through all the surgeries and treatments I've endured. AND she hasn't always been super fit, having lost a ton of weight and faced a debilitating spinal injury. I know she "gets it," and that makes me feel really safe in her care. I am so excited about building my strength back and getting healthy, and trust me, if weight loss happens to be part of this, I'm game! Won't hurt my feelings to see the number on the scale drop! Bring it on, Angie!

In two weeks, I'll be starting a new job, that may lead to a new career. I've been hired as a technical writer! It took a lot of soul-searching, hemming and hawing, contemplating, (you get the picture?!) to come to the decision to apply for and accept this position. I'm a mix of crazy-excited and terrified. I will still be teaching some online classes because, frankly, I can't sever the relationship with Kara-The-Teacher, but I am letting go of my connection to the community college I've been teaching with for 4 years. My heart aches over saying goodbye to my students and colleagues at the community college. They have brought much joy and professional growth into my world. But, as with so much in my post-cancer life, it's time for a change. Please pray that I will have the strength, energy, and skill to succeed in my new position. Having worked mostly from home for all of my daughter's life, this change will be a lifestyle change for my family, too. I think we are doing a good job of preparing to become a two-parent-working-out-of-the-home family, but there are sure to be missteps and stumbles along the way. While you're at it, can you go ahead and throw in a prayer for my little family, that we manage this transition well? Thanks!

And, just in case you're curious about the whole-family-cancer situation....  My step-dad is doing well. Still no symptoms and no treatment. We are all hoping he stays that way permanently! Mom is still a little in limbo. Maybe she'd describe it differently, but I don't feel like we have much in the way of answers. It's been 2 months, at least, and she's had lots of tests and bloodwork. It seems a bone marrow biopsy is in her (near?) future. We had a bit of excitement over her platelet counts dropping significantly a few weeks ago, but then we were told that this kind of change is normal and it will likely go back up to where it was. At this point, I think they have ruled out all of the possible secondary causes, so this is definitely on the cancer spectrum. She's been noticing more and more symptoms, and while she wants to attribute them to other causes (like headaches meaning she needs glasses), they are likely related to the increased number of platelets in her blood. Regardless, she is keeping her spirits up, laughing and smiling as always! We just had a surprise birthday party for her. It was a great way to celebrate her, and to lift her spirits. Thanks to all who came out and made her day so special! Please keep my mom in your prayers, too.

One final thing: Each day of the last week of October (as part of my "Pinktober Profiles" Breast Cancer Awareness series), I will be posting a profile of a local breast cancer survivor. What makes these profiles SO special goes beyond the AMAZING women they are written about, and extends to the students who wrote them. My Eng-111 students (mostly Early-College High School students) have been working tirelessly on writing and revising their profiles and we are all getting pretty excited to finally share them with you. Keep checking back for the profiles. You won't want to miss out on their stories! They are all so inspiring.